Date Doctor

Flirting and dating consultant Sam van Rood, adviser to dating club Gorgeous Networks on how to make an impact in the singles game.

• Many people who have been on the shelf feel they're the only ones in that position. But look at some online dating webstites, go out speed dating or go to a singles-mingle event and suddenly you will realise there are lots of other single people out there just like you.

• Being single along is tough, being single with a friend can be much more fun. Ask around your friends - do they have any single friends you could meet up with for drinks or coffee? Getting off the shelf is easier when you do it together.

• People are most attractive when they are happy - and single people often arn't too smiley. The solution is to regularly do something that you really love, maybe seeing a film, going to a gallery or getting out to watch your favourite football team. If you are happy, people are more likely to fancy you.

• Obviously, you need to have standards, but don't be too picky in your choice of date. Give someone a chance before writing them off. So many singles end up ignoring potential dates because they don't fit their strict criteria, such as being tall, having a good salary, luxury motor etc.

• Everyone is walking around with a flirting traffic light over their head. Red means "not interested" and green meand "I fancy you. To make things happen you need to turn your light from red to green. Make eye contact with someone you fancy, maybe touch them lightly on the arm when you speak and smile. But retain some mystery so you're not too obvious.

• People judge each other in the first five to ten seconds they meet. Ask your friends what their first impress would be on you now. Ask them to frank about how you could improve it. They might suggest a new haircut or a "pulling outfit", for instance.

• Waiting around for the person you're interested in to call or make a move is a waste of time. Plus, it's lame. If you're into someone, go after them. If not, get on with your life.

• Only seven percent of communication is what we say, the other 93 per cent is body language and voice tone. If you feel shy, then that's the impression you give, not matter what you say. Single people have their confidence knocked and this shows in their body language. Try this exercise: relax, remembering a time int he past you were really confident, it can be any time, even work. Step into the picture, feel, see and hear the confidence. Do this five minutes a day for two weeks. It will fill up your confidence fuel tank and make your body language more positive.

• Do assume anything or you may get hurt. Going out on one or two dates doesn't necessarily mean you're dating and it definitely doesn't mean you're in a relationship.

• Don't check out other men or women when you're on a date -and make sure you "partner" doesn't do it either. It's a real insult and a total turn-off.